BETTER LEFT UNSAID

As I stated before I work for the lovely establishment called the United States Postal Service. No, seriously, we still exist. I have been with Hell, Inc. since April 2003. That is correct seven years of my life, tossed away. All that tuition, all those days and night of partying, uhh studying thru my college years brought me to the good old Post Office.

Don't get me wrong, it has its good points... I mean, to have bad you have to have good, right? What was I saying? Oh yes, good points. Riiigghhht. Shit! Throw me a freekin bone here. Crap.

Anyway, not the point of this post, the point of this post is to highlight some of the things I have heard or seen over the last seven years. I swear these are all true and I only wish I could write material this well. So here it goes:

"Excuse me mailman, is the Forever Stamp, forever?"

"Is it hot enough for ya?"

"This no me, I no Mrs. Resident." (A personal favorite of mine) ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER!!! LEARN IT!

"No bills, please" HAHAHA It gets funnier every fucking time I hear it!

"Look out, mailman's here, hey pal dont go postal" Fuckin douche!

This one really needs a visual. I was walking behind two women talking , one leans down, rips some grass out of a lawn , shaked it off and proceeds to eat it. Lady #1. "What are you doing?" Lady #2. "What, this stuff is great?"

"Are you the mailman?" No lady, I just walk around in this goofy polyester blend outfit, trying to get the worse tan in the world.

"Why is my mail wet?" Well, why the fuck is your mailman wet lady, its fucking raining out.

The latest: "Excuse me, you're disrespecting me as a homeowner, by taking your lunch break in front of my house" WELLLLL EXCUUUUUUUUSEEE MEEEE, YOU FAT BITCH.

But really, its not such a bad place to work. Mediocre pay, mediocre bosses, very clean working conditions. Yeah good times, good times....

Now for your quote:
"You're nothing but a drifter who found a bag of mail."