BETTER LEFT UNSAID

As I stated before I work for the lovely establishment called the United States Postal Service. No, seriously, we still exist. I have been with Hell, Inc. since April 2003. That is correct seven years of my life, tossed away. All that tuition, all those days and night of partying, uhh studying thru my college years brought me to the good old Post Office.

Don't get me wrong, it has its good points... I mean, to have bad you have to have good, right? What was I saying? Oh yes, good points. Riiigghhht. Shit! Throw me a freekin bone here. Crap.

Anyway, not the point of this post, the point of this post is to highlight some of the things I have heard or seen over the last seven years. I swear these are all true and I only wish I could write material this well. So here it goes:

"Excuse me mailman, is the Forever Stamp, forever?"

"Is it hot enough for ya?"

"This no me, I no Mrs. Resident." (A personal favorite of mine) ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER!!! LEARN IT!

"No bills, please" HAHAHA It gets funnier every fucking time I hear it!

"Look out, mailman's here, hey pal dont go postal" Fuckin douche!

This one really needs a visual. I was walking behind two women talking , one leans down, rips some grass out of a lawn , shaked it off and proceeds to eat it. Lady #1. "What are you doing?" Lady #2. "What, this stuff is great?"

"Are you the mailman?" No lady, I just walk around in this goofy polyester blend outfit, trying to get the worse tan in the world.

"Why is my mail wet?" Well, why the fuck is your mailman wet lady, its fucking raining out.

The latest: "Excuse me, you're disrespecting me as a homeowner, by taking your lunch break in front of my house" WELLLLL EXCUUUUUUUUSEEE MEEEE, YOU FAT BITCH.

But really, its not such a bad place to work. Mediocre pay, mediocre bosses, very clean working conditions. Yeah good times, good times....

Now for your quote:
"You're nothing but a drifter who found a bag of mail."

Frank's Alot

So i typed an entire post and lost it. Don't know where it went. Not happy.

As I already wrote, I HAVE FOLLOWERS! Ok, granted one is me, the other is the person who inspired me. But, hey its a start.

I wanted to just let people know a bit about this blog. For the most part, I think the people who join, know me well enoough to know what I am about. In the event that someone I do not know personally, joins this blog then I have succeeded as a blogger and well they will need a little background. I will rant, I will be rude, crude and offensive. I will also be awesome and funny, kind and tender. I like sports, and zombies. Im waiting for the zombie apocolypse.

I might be political, I am not a fan of our Non-American president. I will never capitilize the word for him. Where the hell is your birth certificate, Obama?!

I'll save this for another day. Anyway, expect anything, expect the unexpected. Get in, sit down, shut up and hold on!

Now for your quote:

"I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows."

Another Fine Mess

You should create a blog. A good friend said this to me earlier today. What do I know about blogging? Where do I begin? What do I talk about? More importantly, will anyone care? Only one way to find out I guess. So here it goes.

I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Frank, I work for the Post Office. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH EVERYBODY OUT HES GONNA SHOOT THE PLACE UP. Who me? No way. Wrong dude. As I was saying, I work for the Post Office and it is definatly not my dream job. I don't remember being a kid and daydreaming of sweating my balls off in the summer and freezing them to ball-cicles in the winter. No, I did dream of being a toy tester or someone who crashed cars. Ok, so I basically dreamed of being a Crash Test Dummy. Wow! So, thank God I am a mailman then, huh? Anyway back to me, I am 36 years old, am married and have an 8 month old daughter. I consider myself to be an average kind of guy, just looking for my liitle piece of suburbia. My little slice of American apple pie. Not so much to ask for, is it?

I have no idea what the future of this blog will entail, so this will be an interesting ride for all of us. By all of us, I mean the zero followers I currently have. i'm hoping that changes on the completion of this blog. Is blog short for something? If you know, please let me know.

Basically I plan to write some of the things I experience on the job, my life and some of my ideas, maybe a story or two I have written. Feedback is welcome. Unless its bad feedback, you can send that to Perez Hilton. Well, that is all for now, look for updates soon. I am learning as I go, so be kind. One thing I would like to do is end each post with a movie quote. I love movies and if you know me, you know this. Guess the quote and you win....nothing. Bragging rights, unless of course this makes me famous, and get sponsers, so maybe in the future you will get a gift card to Kohl's or Best Buy, maybe Target. Ok so here is the quote.

"Because they might have daddy longlegs and um... dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!"